Excuses and Bad Relations.

The following post has nothing to do with logic.

What is the correlation between productivity and situational ability? Estranged cousins kind of core-relation, I tell you. Have you ever had the burning desire to exercise just minutes before you cripple down in pain from an age old injury? Have you ever had a brilliant story plot pop into your head seconds before you fall asleep so that you are incapable of so much as lifting your arm to scribble it down on the bedside table notepad you have specifically for such occasions? I usually get my biggest desire to write epic sagas in the middle of a club dance floor, something about the whole being lost in a crowd, all senses heightened, hyped by surroundings kind of productivity that knocks in, naturally when I leave the party the desire gets flustered by so much attention that it hides back into its shell. When I'm at a lecture sitting in plain sight of the speaker I have a desire to space out and sketch, don't you? Not meaning it as an insult to any speaker, I find all lectures fascinating, however, then and there seems like the perfect time for ideas to come a flooding. Have you ever had the specific time set off for your work and that is when you blankly stare at the page wishing you were suffering in a gym instead? Yes. You have.

It's like a warm feeling of confidence that seconds from now you won't actually need to do any of this fabulous shit because you'll be seriously busy, so you end up not enjoying any of the things you are doing.

So I'm trying a new approach to all this while I'm on my year abroad. Since I'm already the strange foreigner from an island nobody has ever heard of, I might as well embrace it and blame my weird behaviour on that. Except it would look something like...

I know I'm in the middle of listening to you, but I wanted to design something for my sculpture module right now. So, mi scusi, non capisco.

I'm sorry I'm late and stinky, there was a kick-boxing class I simply could not resist. Cosa?

Or I could just plan my life a little better and condition myself to do things when I actually can.

Last summer I chronically woke up late and missed most of my mornings. The couple of times that I did force myself out of bed early I had nothing planned and therefore no motivation to stay awake. I started trying to convince myself that gaming in the morning is a better idea than wasting the day at the beach and then missing out on friends later in the evening. Nobody is ever up at 7 on a weekend anyway, which means nobody to distract or grill me about why I'm playing video games or why am I so busy reading or drawing. I managed my favourite things to do into my most ignored time of day and woopty-doo, I am a morning person now. When people ask “Why do you bother getting up so early?” I explain that first of all it's not all that early, second, it gives me more time to procrastinate and do things that would otherwise waste my precious time.

I honestly believe this strategy can be applied to about anything. And if you're really bursting with brilliance, that bedside table notebook will have to travel and get utilized a little more. My view of these fallbacks is a human's natural and passionate love for excusing oneself from responsibilities.

 I'm not sure what this means.