Jobs, Sobs, and Keyfobs

Wow. I'm really terrible at this whole updating frequently thing!

Quick update:
I have completed the internship and returned to UK.
The end of the internship was a bit more emotional than I expected.
I pretty much almost cried when I received incredibly thoughtful gifts from people I didn't realise paid so much attention to my dorky interests and heard me talk to myself in the corner of the concept room. I also got a beautiful keyfob that I designed in my first month of the internship, as a sappy reminder that "Bitch, you can turn your dream into reality".

Not much different to sticking a horn on a pretty pony.

On my last day, I was standing outside, smoking with my dear colleague friend, I realised how much I had grown in the past half a year. I didn't let myself mope around for two long in Amsterdam, and left the country two days after that.

Would you like to talk about repression of feelings and general detachment? I wouldn't. Not yet.

Since then, I have moved in with my aunt in Birmingham, UK and within two days decided to travel to London as frequently as I can. Not because I don't like living with a loud 5 year old, but in hopes of acquiring a job. Luckily I have beautiful friends who don't let me sleep in local airports (no matter how much I love the airports and their endlessly comfortable waiting areas) like a complete gypsy that I am, but instead, offer my the safety of their home, feed me like a stray cat, or in best cases leave me to babysit the actual cat while they are away.
In Birmingham I have applied for about ten jobs for Christmas staff, and somehow no responses, but London decided to be far more welcoming.
First week in London, second day of crashing with one of my closest friends I found a one-off promotional job in the Centre. Problem was the fact that it was a) freezing, b) impossible to make much profit travelling from where I was staying to the darn job. Naturally, coming back from my fancy little adventure in a fancy corporation, I kinda ended up having snobbish standard, or what have you. As people passed by the girl with Gym Promotion flyers, she felt a little dead inside.
Nonetheless, I did that for a day, but the employer was negligent and unresponsive after the first day of work, and the conditions I found the job through (hrm, facebook) made me weary. So on the second day of work, my moody stomach was actually welcome, because otherwise, I would have kept suffering for no good financial reason.
Since then I've been back to Birmingham, applying and trying not to lose faith.
Second day in, my dear Megan called me to meet for coffee 20 minutes outside of Birmingham. The next thing I knew I was being whisked away to York for a weekend.

It's all a bit far.

 There, Megan took me out and reminded me that I had been working for the past half a year, for ridiculous hours. It was only after a few glasses of rum that I agreed. She took me to live music events, glorious restaurants, and for beautiful, long walks with the family pet. I started drinking, and didn't stop until this week in London. This time I had arrived because I promised a friend on Twitter to show him some bars in London and for MCM Expo 2014.
Drinking heavily every other night, smoking and general time killing... Was what I thought ended up happening. Until today I was sulking about everything and nothing, sleeping in yet another friend's living room and already started thinking how I'm wrecking my own liiiiiife and slipping! Why did I leave Amsterdam, I could have fought harder...!
However, the strangest thing was that somewhere along the way, while either hungover or tipsy, I have seen York, gone on beautiful hikes, met a potential employers in London (let's see how that goes), managed to land an unpaid storyboarding job for a student film, visit a bunch of ports of London, and go to MCM Expo (AND SURVIVE IT). At MCM I briefly met a few Voice Actors and a person who, to put it bluntly, kinda changed my life and made me realise that one can be a complete dorky, passionate, silly and get away with being professional while uncompromising their values and interests. There's ups and downs. To be honest, the whole event tugged at my heartstrings so much... Ah, hard to put to words.
I mean, yeah, it's not exactly a ground breaking launch-into-a-professional-career news/advice, but it's an important realisation as a young idiot in this big scary road. It's an on-going battle for everyone. It was good to write these things down, to evaluate what happened and what I want to happen.
It's true, sometimes we need to let go and let our neurotic flag fly, in order to eliminate some internal conflict, to get over ourselves.